I’ve been preparing for an intermediate course that the Taiwanese teacher Jian Xiang Ting will be teaching next month. This course is to heal and develop of our twelve senses.
One of my surprises is that our sense of touch is not limited to physical contact, but include non-physical contact, such as you reading my writing right now. So our sense of touch receives a lot of different emotional energies from our embryonic stage in our mother’s womb to our early childhood. These emotional charges include smell, sight, taste, etc., though they come into us through our sense of touch. In other words, the energy pathways that are responsible for establishing our connection with the outer world–the bridge between our interior and exterior worlds both physically and non-physically–contain our sense of smell, sense of sight, etc.
For example, when your mother gives you a bowl of chicken soup when you were a kid, then within you forms a memory of not just the physical and non-physical contact with your mother, but in that memory of contact is also a taste and smell imprint.
In other words, our twelves senses are not independent of each other, but are stacking up upon each other, to form a unique memory and experience.
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Next, as our sense of touch keeps receiving information in our early years, the information eventually forms our sense of self.
For example, if our parents keep berating us, disapproving us, controlling us, shouting at us, etc., then gradually, we receive the energetic imprint that we are not validated, not welcomed, not accepted, not loved, not understood, not appreciated, etc. As these feelings accumulate, they eventually form our sense of ourselves, and our sense of thought–we are not good enough. This sense of thought is like a mental foundation of many of our thoughts, like a belief or an identity, and from that we birth forth all kinds of related thoughts, such as, how do I win someone’s favor or approval, how can I do better so to be seen and validated, what else do I have to do or say to prove that I am worthy, how much do I have to do in order for them to believe in me, etc. Sometimes it’s possible that this series of thoughts may generate general anxiety or chronic anxiety, constant worrying, always thinking that something will go wrong and people will start to blame or shame me, etc. Such negative pattern of thinking can evolve into certain imbalanced modus operandi, for example, doing or saying the same thing multiple times, making sure that I’m doing it right, that there is no room for error and hence no room for others to criticize me, or to make sure that others actually hear and understand me, and that they’re convinced that I am right, etc.
As you can see, these thoughts are getting more and more out of hand. They are imbalanced.
Such imbalanced energies, when they have accumulated to a certain extent, they start to invade and become our sense of life, because those negative atoms and molecules keep swirling around inside our body and mind, becoming a default part of our bodily sensation, and our body starts to feel heavy, discomfort, ache, etc.
When our body is constantly burdened by such negative energies, we feel lethargic and apathic, or feel that life is hard, everything is strenuous and troublesome, etc., then we try to figure out or strategize a more efficient way of doing things (see above sense of thought generating imbalanced pattern of thinking). This negative sense of life is activating and reinforcing the negative sense of thought, locking us in this familiar imbalanced pattern. We don’t see another possible way of life. We don’t believe that life can be easy. We don’t exit our imbalances.
If the accumulation of imbalanced energies reaches a certain level, it will affect our sense of balance. We see everything as dangerous or wrong. We fear and worry about everything. We invalidate and distrust everything and everyone.
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In our early years, what we receive through our sense of touch is not just the direct interaction with our caregivers, but also the indirect mood or ambience that they put out.
Say, if your parents were struggling with money when you were a child, and they fret about it, get angry or anxious about it, then the entire atmosphere in the house you live in will be filled with this negative energy. Moreover, you are not just absorbing this energy, you are also absorbing your parents‘ attitude toward money, their inability to find more money, their desperation and helplessness, etc. Most likely, when you grow up and have a good source of income, you will still suffer from money problems.
Here’s an example of a friend of mine who’s an engineer living in a big house making lots of money. She is very sensitive to people using her paper towels. I noticed that imbalanced energy in her very early on, and was careful to tiptoe around her and her paper towels. However, her live-in tenant didn’t know about energy, and he got yelled at even though he claimed that he did not use her paper towels. So they fought. After the fighting ended, he told me another story about her paper towels: She had a close friend who used to visit her often, and one day she got mad and told that friend to pay her back her paper towels, then many days later, he found a big case of paper towels at her front door. That friend never visited again.
She did separately mention to me about that friend, how she had the key to come in often, and was disappointed that she stopped coming, but my friend never mentioned about the paper towels story. I think she didn’t know what happened, even though she was the one causing it.
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The imbalanced energies that we picked up as a kid will become our experience as an adult. They not only determine the quality of our relationship with the outer world, but also our relationship with ourselves and our bodies.