After I did some conscious release yesterday and the day before, regarding a situation where I tended to attract people who had to control and manage me when they asked me to do something for them, I shifted away from conscious release this morning and instead focused on what it would feel like if I were to have the latitude (and trust) to complete an assignment without their intervention.
The moment I tuned to that feeling, I got a crystal clear energy, like a very clear lake where you could see right through to the bottom. But I was only momentarily in touch with that energy before I got distracted.
Later, I tuned back to the situation a second time, I felt a bit more depth and thickness with that clear energy. The depth is more about my ability to sit deeper in my power and essence, to express myself from my core–to convert my existence to the expression of who I am in my purest essence, rather than to be a tool or puppet that others can maneuver, on demand, at will, and I have to respond accordingly. To put it another way, when I show up in the world–especially in front of people with a micromanagement tendency–from that energetic vantage point, I would not be able to project nor attract the energy of control (and being controlled), because the vibrational signature of that vantage point is balanced, clear (meaning no energetic entanglement with anyone), stable, ease, etc.
It is from this angle that I understood the scope of healing I needed to do to exit this kind of situation once and for all. With clarity I saw that if there was absolutely no energetic entanglement between me and others when I was tasked to do something for them, then my presence was free from interference and restriction, and only then did I notice my magnificence. All the release that I was doing was actually to remove the energetic threads that bound me to others, in all kinds of convoluted and unnecessary ways. Because those threads were so chaotically wired together that as soon as I entered into a situation of doing things with others, I tended to activate at least a few of those wires, and then things either took a long time to move forward, or there tended to be a lot of hiccups along the way to complicate and lengthen the process, or there were too many back-and-forth to discuss naturally simplistic something, etc. I cannot help it. These energetic imprints are all at the unconscious level, not just in me, but also in those people whom I attract to manufacture such situations. I don’t need to do anything to the other person who has the same unconscious imbalanced energies, I only have to release and balance my own, at which point, the energetic circuitry would carry and circulate new energies between us, and that will shift the physical outcome.
. . .
The purpose of returning to a state of balance when tuning in to a situation that I am trying to heal, is to bring in more balanced energies into the situation that was previously out of balance.
This balancing step is actually supposed to be done right away the releasing step, but because the scope of my healing is too large to be done in one sitting, I didn’t balance after each release, because I still felt that there were a lot of imbalanced energies left brewing in the background. But connecting to this balanced state is crucial for creating, attracting, and manifesting what we want, or else we would only be manufacturing more of what we don’t want.