For years I have been trying to figure out how to materialize my vision. I absolutely do not see any path forward, and have no idea how to get there. Today, I have discovered a series of thoughts, emotions, and actions that are blocking me from achieving my vision. This discovery is made possible by a section of the lecture on April 16. Below is my distillation, translation, and summary of that section that talks about the mechanics behind achievements.
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We have a certain belief and mentality that we must always try to figure out what to do, how much to do, how to get things done, how to do well, etc., to the extent that we form a pattern where our attention automatically gravitates toward this direction and range of thinking. As our attention becomes accustomed to this way of thinking, our body secretes a type of neuro transmitting substance that supports this range of mental activities and that substance starts to attract people, situation, object, etc., that makes us do, do, do, do, do. Endless doing, though not necessarily endless achieving.
Because we are so used to only focusing on and manifesting the belief of doing, instead of focusing on achieving and accomplishing, our attention becomes used to looking outward, at our actions, instead of inward. This creates a difficulty in connecting to our core essence where our inner resources reside, and we become less grounded, less stably seated in our seat of power to be present. Over time, that inability to connect deeply and firmly to our inner self will cause us to be less nourished.
When we get to this state, we tend to wonder a lot about how to get nourished, validated, appreciated, accepted, valued, loved, etc., to the point of becoming compulsively over-thinking. The need and lack of appreciation and nourishment will position us in a sort of desperation that turns into compulsion. In that state, we forget our self-worth and power. Instead, our self-worth becomes tied to our actions, and our actions originate from our over-thinking.
As the trajectory of over-thinking continues to grow and spiral in a negative direction (out of lack and fear), that over-thinking becomes a habit and repetition. This habit creates the psychological and physical distance between us and our goal. That’s when we feel that we are ten million miles away from our goal, that our vision is practically unreachable, or that we must expend a lot of effort and money and resources in order to get to where we want.
In physical reality, the distance we create between ourselves and our dreams is the manifestation of the thoughts and emotions that are circulating within and among our internal organs, as they come together to form an orchestra that manufactures the complexity of our external landscape.
When we create such huge distance for reaching our goal, we naturally need to over-think and over-do, and this excessive expenditure of energy then necessitates all forms of energy loss, leakage, waste. That excessiveness is fueled by our fear, anxiety, worry, doubt, etc. We think that if we don’t do something, we can’t achieve anything. Or if we can’t do something in a certain way, we will not be accepted, approved, validated. Hence, our thinking and doing continually circle back into a psychological position of lack and fear.
When we keep operating in this energy loop, repetition, or circle, it is hard to accomplish anything, which means we leave more undone than done. So at the end of each day, the undone amount when carried forward to the next day will have a compounding effect. It compounds our pattern of over-thinking and over-doing, because the next day, we again start to activate this pattern of doing, doing, doing; a pattern that is born out of lack and fear, a loop that is growing bigger in the undesirable direction, and a loss that is draining more and more of our resources.
As this compounding continues, our capacity to achieve drops, and our blankness increases. Blankness as in not knowing how to achieve, how to get to where we want, how to get validated and accepted, etc. Simply no clue! Our system becomes so clogged up with the idea of doing and thinking that it no longer has room to see and feel the limitless possibilities of our lives and the abundance of the universe that we exist in. We see nothing. Zero visibility.
In this state of zero visibility, we must do even more in order to achieve, so we start to break up the process of over-thinking and over-doing into phases. Instead of taking one day to get somewhere, we split that journey into multiple phases, taking a few baby steps today to get to the first phase, then rest for an unnecessarily long time as we have burned too much energy, then take another few steps to get to the second phase, etc. This is a much higher level of energy loss, in the form of money, time, attention, emotions, self-worth, etc.
If our body continues to excrete and circulate the type of neuro transmitting substance that propels this series of thoughts and emotions, our destination is exhaustion. We will be unable to step forward in our lives, unable to step into our future, unable to go out into the world. Because whatever we have done, our product does not have an unobstructed path to the outside world. That obstruction and distance between us and our external world is our fear, lack, invalidation, anxiety, worry, etc. Our inner energy does not have a way of being seen and received by our outer world, because it is not accepted, appreciated, valued.
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So for me to actualize my vision, I need to heal all the above. When I can arrive at a state of being that connects my inner and outer worlds, that kind of doing will not be out of lack and strategizing, but out of flow and bliss, because at that point, it is not me that is doing but the entire universe that is doing through me. And when it is the universe that is doing, I will not be chasing success, but success will be chasing me.
